This is ME

After 1 year of not updating my food blog.

and out of boredom and ill discipline in doing my heat transfer tutorials....



www.thecookiemonsterbakes.blogspot.com


is back in action!

posted by Angie @ 3:34 PM 0 Comments

posted by Angie @ 1:58 PM 0 Comments

I always have this on off thoughts about NOT having kids in the future. Like there are a lot of uncertainity in life itself already why have more uncertainty with your kids lives? and moreover, i would rather treasure the solo company and attention of my other half rather than to split it to my kid and somehow or rather be not as close to my partner as before. There are a lot of cases where children are the ones that directly or indirectly cause the split of their parents.

Then i was browsing through the internet and i saw this video.

A son asked his father, " Dad will you take part in a marathon with me?" The father who despite having a heart condition, says "yes" and they went on to complete the marathon together. The father and son later completed many other marathons. The father always say "yes" to his son's request to go through the race together. One day, the son asked his father " lets join the Ironman together" and his dad says "yes."


Check out http://www.teamhoyt.com/ for more infomation about this father and sons and their close to 1000 marathons

I cried after watching this video. (taken from holly--jean.blogspot.com).


I really admire this dad's perserverence. Many families broke up when they have a disabled kid. Dad blame mum for eating panadol while pregnant and mum blame dad and it all becomes a big blaming game. No body wants to take responsibility in a less than normal baby.

Like most of us. When it comes to an issue. We usually blame each other. But when do we actually calm down, think about matters and solve it? Right to the point.


Maybe. I should really. Find a way to solve my problem once and for all....


One of my fears of having a kid is also the possibility, what if the kid is handicapped? disabled? Then how?

After watching this video. It just warmths my heart. Problems are problems if only you think that they are. The father could have just say: " child, it's impossible to bring you along when i swim in the sea! the officials wont allow!" or give tons of excuses.... I think, this son, brought happiness to his parents. Somehow or another. It might not be a normal way of " my son got a medal from sport!" kind of honour, but, i think the son is one source to bond the parents together further to care for him.

To the father. The son is never a problem or a hassle.

Then why sometimes, in life, even childen can be rude, impatient to their parents and vice versa?


I hope, one day i can become a patient mother and wife =)

posted by Angie @ 2:11 PM 0 Comments

Addicted just after 2 listenings.

posted by Angie @ 9:57 PM 0 Comments

A Letter to Issabell
Dear Issabell,

Yes, i know you are not old and smart enough to read this letter yet, but i still writing this letter to you.

Initially when you were born, you were smaller than Miki and we have to hold you carefully, as though you were an antrax virus and our protective suit is not strong enough to protect against your deadly virus. Well, this situation is quite similar, especially you tend to puke a lot a lot a lot on the person who is carrying you when you just had your milk meal. I wasnt spared and just like anybody i hate to be puked on. Despite your ill-mannered-ness, people still "goo goo " "gagaaa" over you and more than willing to let you puke on them. But not me. No no to carrying you after your milk meal.

Then you grew. In physical size and in the decibel of your crying. Now you are way bigger than Miki. And you are so strong, when i carry you and you cry.. You just pinched me, tag and pull my shirt like i am the culprit for snatching your milkbottle. Nope not me. Or is it me....hmm. I vow. to teach you how to be like a lady, a gentle one when you grow up. And i am so going to hide the fact that your Aunt Angeline, me, learnt and enjoyS muaythai. I'm just going to lie to you and say i enjoy reading, cross stitiching and playing the piano.

You are one little Rascal. Rascal.. You look angelic to everybody but when you cry. Oh my goddness. I wonder who was the one who tortured you. Can you stop giving people the impression that i abuse you by not crying every time i pick you up? I just want to carry you i swear!

And recently, you pulled a whiny stunt. Luckily your mother, my sister is smart enough to notice that. That you...little rascal, will cry for attention in the most pathetic weeping ever, so that someone will pick you up, pat your diaper-cushioned butt. Then when they carry you, you have this smug on your face that says :" Mischieve Achieved".

Yes. We see through that. I totally understand your tricks off your sleeve cos i am still using that trick now even at my age. (FYI: this is 2009. Your aunt is 21 years old. ) We both have this habit of crying for attention or find some traits we are unhappy about, kick a big fuss then expect someone to pacify us. Well, we are both babies..just that you are a baby in everyone's eyes and i'm a baby in my boyfriend's eye.

Well. Look. This doesnt work in the long run here. You have to understand, just like i have to learn too, that things dont usually go your way. People are busy watching online lectures in the adjucent room and your weeping for attention although will bring me running to your room with my colourful bears. But...deep inside. I kinda dislike you for making my 1 hr lects become 2hrs.

Yes you are adorable. And you are better than caffeine big time. When ever i feel like sleeping in the afternoon, all i have to do is bring you to my room and play with you like my bears..oops i mean play with you USING my bears. Then after a while, somehow, i'll leave you alone, then you'll cry -> pacify you -> you pull my skin/sleeve . Then tada~~ Aunt awake. I burnt some fats too. Since you are much heavier than my dumb bells. But i think i'm going deaf.

Little Rascal. Since your appearence, my personal toilet becomes partly yours. Your soiled-with-vomit garments filled the toilet and the smell is WOAH.... cant believe that smell is from a tiny little thing.

You made me consider how many kids i want when i marry in the future. I wanted 3 , then got pursuaded until 2, then now....i want 0. Please grow up and be more adorable and less of a terror so that i can go back to my dream of being a mother of 3 in 15 years time. I want to put my baking skills into good maternal use you know? please?

I promise you sweets in the future. Just try not to cry when your aunt is pulling her hair apart watching online lectures. Please?



Love.
Aunt Angeline.

posted by Angie @ 1:26 AM 0 Comments

When i was younger. There were plenty of adventous stuff that i want to do when i grow up.

From watching Jet Li's show, i aspired to be a "Professional Killer" for quite sometime.
From watching WWF and Huang Fei Hong shows, i wanted to learn " Martial Arts, anytype"
From playing motorcycle racing games in arcades: "i wanted to learn/ride a motorcycle"
From watching action packed shows: i wanted to be an "undercover cop"
I wanted to get myself a tattoo.

I was kinda gusty. Then.

That was when i was younger. After telling all these new ambitions to my parents. I scraped the idea. The motorcycle one was the wish that took longest time to eliminate from the back of my mind.

Some background facts. My family is the " Safety No. #1" kind. No dangereous stuff is encouraged or allowed. No acts are supposed to be carried out to increase your already high risk of dying before you get artiritis.

Everytime there's a report on some freak accident involving deaths in skydiving, bungee jumping, diving, motorcycle. My parents would say

" These people siao uh! Got nothing to do play this kind of dangeous games then die early. See la! Wasted. how sad their parents and wife and sons/daughters are... dunno how to think uh....stupid people! Pay money go die..."

Yup. I hear this since i was really young. I suspect that they are trying to educate me since young in not appearing in the newspapers as one of the freak accident's victims and let them be the "parents that mourn for the early passing of their talented, very well behaved and have a bright future kid"

Yup. I've been through phrases where i read about statistics (yes i do) about probability of dying in rollar coaster vs. car crashes. and all these stunt activites fatalities statisitics. then i realise. It's not about comparing statistics just that. It's about ADDING your risk bar higher.

Like for example: " You living in the urban city already had a certain probability of getting into an accident in a car crash, while walking, getting astham attack , get mugged, blah blah" But you enaging in EXTRA activites that are out of the ordinary, or less common. Like sky diving, parachuting...is adding the percentage of you getting into an accident. ADDING!


And after years of thinking through my parents words. I conclude that, it is not worth it to because of a thrill, a fun thing, a "i want to try this in my lifetime" and risk shortening my life by a few decades, missed out my love ones, the growing up stages of my kid (if i have one) and make my love ones mourn for my accident.

Think, If you suay suay got into an accident and you died. Then u, as a wandering spririt..come back and look upon what happened. What will you feel. I have a dream about me dyin gand coming back as a spirit and i woke up crying shit mad. Even in my dreams i missed my love ones when i die. It's like. I am the sole surviver of this world and everybody died. it's worse than 1 loved one passing away. Why would you want to risk this scenerio just for a cheap thrill?

Or if u become a vegetable. You survived. But you can only think and move your eye balls. And cant walk or talk or be pretty again. You become thinner and thinner and frail and your parents' heart ache everytime they visit u. get into debts cos of ur medical bills. And you wished you'd die than to be a living dead. But too bad. Singapore doesnt allow euthanesia. You see people laugh, joke go to the beach and you? have to even require assistance when you need to pee or shit.

You'll have a feelign and confession like an injured victim of a drink-and-drive driver.

" If i know it'll happen, i will never have done it!" + Regret to the power of infinity.

But what's the use? Regret is the stupidest thing in your life when you could have prevented it.

One thing. Even if it's going to somewhere or being with someone that will make my love ones unhappy. Seeing them unhappy or worried, makes me go to the place or be with someone, unhappily and not in peace.


I am sorry. But i feel that the doctor who had some scholarship in research who died in the diving freak accident, a selfish guy. He left behind his pregnant wife, 3 yr old son. and his 2nd child is due at the end of the year.

Can you imagine what the mother will say to the unborn child about why his/her father is not around already? " your father died when you were in my tummy, he went diving and he died"

And his kid's response? " why daddy want to go diving mummy?"
Mum's response :" Cos he likes it..."
Kid's response...:" Then, because he likes diving, he never get to see me....why does daddy have to go...if he didnt go, he can be here for my birthday and sign my report card..."



No doubt it is a tragedy. He didnt expect it .....to happen on him.

Bless his family.

posted by Angie @ 6:35 PM 0 Comments

Everybody have a habit that is difficult to kick. That you grew up with it and you think that's pretty normal and others will be similar in that aspect too.


Apart from my habit of randomly dancing when i'm bored or when i come across a good song.

I have another habit.

When try to contact someone, i except the person to reply me quick and prompt. It doesnt have to be immediate but it has to be fast.

But a habit becomes a hinderance when it poses some problem because of that habit. In fact i realised..not everybody is like me who keep their phone close to them and check their phone at a glance at least once an hour.

It's a habit inculcated to me since young. When ever my parents try to call me they expect me to, if didnt pick up, at least call them back in case of "emergency". When my mum sms me whether i'm coming home early or if i want dinner i have to reply in a certain time lest my mum buys/cooks my dinner share.

But, i just have to remember that not everybody has a habit like me and doesnt mean you do someting in a certain way to the person, the person has to return in the same way. <-- another bad habit.


Hence, i am trying now not to give immediate attention to smses and checking my phone everynow and then. Or i should simply stop expecting others to behave like i do. I will try to kick this ...quite frequent crippling habit of mine. It is kinda demanding. Yeah.

Angie. Remember this is your habit. Only you have it. Others doesnt!

posted by Angie @ 7:53 PM 0 Comments

I know what i want for Christmas!!

I want the piano score of "Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence " and i want someone to teach me how to play this piece!

posted by Angie @ 2:03 AM 0 Comments